Photo by Antonette Marie on Unsplash

Most people are striving for something in life. It may be to lose 20 pounds, get that dream job, or meet the love of your life. We all want something.

And you can have it. But not without some sacrifice.

In order to get what you want in life, you must be willing to give up who and what you are today. Our beliefs about ourselves, our perceived identity, and what we think we are capable of all have gotten us to where we are now.

Are you happy with who you are?

Are you happy with where you are?

silhouette on beach with colorful sunset around & reflection
silhouette on beach with colorful sunset around & reflection
Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash

Most people do the basic things in life on autopilot: eat, sleep, shower, work, etc. But your personal basics are ingrained in you even deeper than that, and have an incredibly profound impact on your health and the quality of your life. These are the things that help you function at your highest and best, or keep you suffering and floundering like a fish out of water.

When your personal basics are steeped in meaning and value, they keep you grounded, sane and healthy.

Essentially, they are your holy grail, whether you realize it or not.

A perfect stranger can…

WOman balancing on rock on side of lake with mountain in the background
WOman balancing on rock on side of lake with mountain in the background
Photo by FERESHTEH AZADI on Unsplash

Balance. I think it’s something a lot of people constantly struggle with in life.

Work, kids, relationships, and trying to stay mentally sane and physically healthy all take a toll on us.

You may be doing well at work, but drowning in other areas. If you are feeling drained or like something isn’t right, then take a moment to evaluate where you are putting too much or not enough energy into.

There is a simple strategy for finding clarity and getting life back in balance. …

Topless brunette woman facing away from the camera, throwing her hat in the air with her hand raised
Topless brunette woman facing away from the camera, throwing her hat in the air with her hand raised
Photo by ian dooley on Unsplash

Look, I don’t hate kids. I actually love them. Mostly just while they are being civil and nice though.

When I was younger I pictured myself as a parent. Turns out, I have never felt that pull they say you get when you are being called to procreate. I might never get it.

And I am totally good with that.

For those that constantly question my childless choice, here are some of the many, many reasons that cross my mind nearly every day, of why I haven’t had kids, am glad I don’t have kids, and may never have kids:

Photo by Eugene Chystiakov on Unsplash

A few years back, I was depressed to the point that I was 10 pounds underweight and didn’t leave my room for days at a time. From the outside looking in, my life probably looked fine- I had all my basic needs met and then some. But I was struggling deeply within myself and not finding solace in anything.

Friends we’re ignored and treated poorly. Exercise did nothing. I attempted self medicating, but even my usual sauce made me feel no more alive and no less dead. Nothing.

So I didn’t do anything but stare at the wall. …

Photo by Karan Bhatia on Unsplash

Over the years I have had many friends and relationships come and go. Sometimes we are incredibly close to someone and the relationship serves us well for a period of time. Other times those relationships may start to feel depleting and exhausting.

It’s important to not let yourself get dragged down or let animosity and resentment build up towards someone. To determine if the relationship is worth continuing, there are some vital signs to look for.

There are many relationships we have in life- close friends, co-workers, family, acquaintances. …

airplane cockpit
airplane cockpit
Photo by Chris Leipelt on Unsplash

I had a birthday last week. I didn’t want to make a big thing about it but wanted to celebrate somewhat, so I got a hotel room in the City, tickets to a baseball game, and invited a couple girlfriends. The 4 of us had a few drinks and headed out to the game, and everything seemed fine.

Over the next few hours however, consistent bad vibes from one of the girls started to overshadow the whole experience. Complaints about the hotel room, the seats at the ball stadium, and even the most miniscule things became an issue for her…

Confetti falling at a concert with bright colored lights
Confetti falling at a concert with bright colored lights
Photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash

Last year, Snoop Dogg thanked himself in his Hollywood Star acceptance speech. He credited himself for all the hard work, for believing in himself, and for achieving the level of success he had achieved.

Why can’t we all have that same level of respect and admiration of ourselves?

Most of us believe we are capable of greatness, but there’s those nagging insecurities that make us feel that maybe we aren’t quite good enough.

What would happen if you removed self doubt and instead started being your biggest cheerleader?

When we focus on our shortcomings and fears, we’ll inevitably start doubting…

Photo by John Sting on Unsplash

A few years ago, I was walking in Prague with another solo traveler I met at my accommodation. He was a near stranger. We met an hour prior and were carrying on a conversation about nothing in particular. I don’t remember much about him, but I do remember when he started to ask me a question that he never had the chance to finish.

“Have you ever missed something…”

he paused just long enough for me to say:

“That you have never had before?”

He stopped walking for a split second, gazing over at me before saying, “yeah…” in a…

Photo by Greta Schölderle Møller on Unsplash

I was 2 months into my round the world trip. My first experiences as a backpacker, at a hostel, and as a solo traveler were behind me. It felt like I had learned more about myself and life than in all the years up to that point.

But I still had many more lessons to learn. This time around, it was from a ‘dirty backpacker.’

My bus had pulled into the Bariloche, Argentina main station 15 minutes before. I was sitting on a bench planning the route to my accommodation after a 5-hour bus ride from Lago Llanquihue, Chile.


Gina Bay

Storyteller | Personal Growth | Ghostwriter | Editor | Memoirs | Non-fiction |

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